The two children were scared when they were brought into our living room. Our own children were only a few years older than these dark haired brown-eyed native babies. The children settled down and ate some home made bread with our own farm made butter on it. Soon they were asleep and all seemed well. The next day I was introduced to young Denny's fiery temper. I didn't know what to do with him, and had never seen someone so young with so much anger. The only thing I could do was set him in the corner of the sofa where he could look out the window and watch the river and farm animals until he calmed down. Then I was able to pick him up and hug him tight and talk to him in a gentle way. I was uneducated in the ways of bullies and the victims of bullies at that time. Later I learned that the Dad had lost his wife. Home and family in the traditional Indian Way. In the middle of the night a violent bully of a man had jumped through a bedroom window and with a knife had chased away the dad and taken over his place. The young boy was molested and abused in ways that I can only imagine. While he was with us, he was able to spend time with his real dad, who had bullying problems of his own. I was witness to a incident where his real dad took a lit match and held it up to the young Child's skin to teach him to be tough, and not to play with matches. It broke my heart to see this, and I spoke out against it, and told Denny Sr. that I never wanted to see anything like that again. I didn't, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen when no one was there to speak out or protect the young child.

Bullying victims become bullies

Denny has grown up to be a bully, this is understandable when you know what kind of life he had at the hands of the two fathers who were both bullies. On the news this morning I heard his name and the news reporter told how he had assaulted several people, putting one in the hospital. How he had stolen a car and escaped but was tracked down and arrested in a town more than a hundred miles away. It isn't surprising that he has turned into a violent bully, studies have shown that bullying results in more bullying and bullies. He is where he is today, because of bullying. Would things have been different if I had been able to adopt him? If I had not got caught up in a injustice that took all my energy and time away from my main purpose at that time? I want to help this young man who is caught up in the vicious cycle of bullying with no end. Is there help for him, and for the thousands that sit in jail cages around this country because of bullying in their lives?

The life of a bullying victim

The pain of the past bullying cannot be undone, but there are ways to teach anti bullying philosophies. There are surveys that can teach bullies to recognize the bullying from their past and the affects bullying has had on them, and that they are victims of bullying too. When someone realizes why they act out in the ways that they do, When they learn that it is unacceptable behavior then they might want to change. Wanting to change is the first step. When bullying is all they have known in their life. When bullying is the only way they have been able to gain what they need, what can anyone expect but a continuing cycle of aggression and bullying with no end in sight.

There are televisions in every jail cell that can be hooked up to VCR or DVD players. Instead of more violence and shows that glamorize bullying from television that is being programmed into bored minds in those many hours of being locked up in a cage, they could be watching shows like The Secret that shows how a person becomes what they think. There are numerous other bullying resources available to teach better ways of living, better ways of thinking. Using that time to teach about bullying, the effects of bullying, and anti bullying ways, and would be a much better way to spend our tax monies and could actually lead to someone like Denny being rehabilitated for real. That is the purpose of our prison and jail system after all isn't it? Stopping bullying needs to be a number one priority in all walks of life.

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